The second thing that great team leaders know, and that brain scientists have shown, is that an âinsightâ is brain food. These scientists arenât yet sure whether this is because insights come with a nice shot of dopamine or some other neurochemical transmitter, but what they do know is that the brain is built such that a new insightââa feeling of knowing generated from within,â to use their phrasingâfeels good.
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The same is true for you. Thereâs a little bit of you that your organization can never touch, never know, never see, and certainly never feel. And yet itâs this part of youâthe loving, feeling part of youâthat makes you feel alive at work, able to do things that surprise and delight you, things that are ridiculously good, unexpectedly made, astonishing to your team, and that light you up from the inside.
The subtlety here is that, as we saw above, the feeling of enthusiasm about a companyâs mission, and confidence in its future, still vary team to team. In other words, our experience of our company is significantly mediated by our experience of our team.
All these great biz leaders know one thing â nothing interesting can come out of your brain that you donât put in first. Having a natural curiosity and thirst for learning separates the good from the great in our experience.
And consider this, too: praise, appreciation, expressions of respect â all
develop human thinking. They unwrap confidence and let it saturate talent and will and buds of ability. You know this. Every time someone mentions a quality they admire in you, you do even better at just about everything for a while. And you feel good. And you think better.
And thatâs the point. That good-feeling phenomenon is a good-thinking
phenomenon. So says the chemistry at least. Appreciate someone and, as with attention, the hormones in their brain change. Oxytocin, serotonin and dopamine dash around their cortex; and before they know it, they think better and better. We have noticed this repeatedly in all of our work.
So whatâs the problem? Why donât we do it more? Itâs not that difficult. We can just notice what is good and say it. Thatâs it.
In fact, the next time you are with a human being, anywhere at all, notice
something you respect about them, or like about them, or just think is a plus for that moment, and tell them. Even strangers. Their day will change, and when they start to think about something, theyâll be better at it.
It does, though. Obviously, our brains are in our bodies, and thus depend on body chemistry in order to work. Too much sugar, sluggish brain. Too much wheat, compliant brain. Too much artificial stuff, fearful brain. Too much alcohol and drug stuff, collapsed brain. But the impact of our bodies on thinking goes beyond this chemistry question. When we try to think inside a body we disrespect, it can hear only, âYou donât matter.â And that assumption practically anaesthetizes the cortex.
The body, then, is the place where we think, not only because it contains our brains, but also because it tells us whether we matter.
What to do?
Consider these questions.
About the room:
What are three things you can do before your next meeting so that when people arrive they feel, just from the room, that they matter?
About the listener:
How can you communicate to your listener the importance of their keeping their eyes on your eyes so that their eyes and their face respond accurately to the micro signals of change in your thinking?
About your body:
What one thing do you know you need to do so that your body can say to you, âYou matterâ?