There are some people who will take personal advantage of every situation. There are some people in whom the dark side wins. Your company should rigorously weed these people out. You can do it with compassion (remember, it was your mistake to hire them in the first place); but it should be done.

Fortunately, these people are rare. And we don’t base this claim solely on a personal faith in human nature.

2.3. Assholes

“So ask. Don’t be afraid to push. They’ll respect you more if you stand up for what you believe in. Mission-driven “assholes” want to be better at their jobs and fulfill that all-important mission—they want to make sure the company is heading in the right direction.

Controlling assholes won’t listen. They’ll never admit they screwed up. Neither will political assholes. They’ll ignore obvious problems and deflect reasonable feedback, either because it’s not helpful politically or because their ego can’t take it. They don’t protect the product or the customer or the team. They protect themselves.

If you’re having trouble with an asshole, then typically you won’t be the only one exasperated. So find people who agree with you that this asshole has to go—talk to their peers, talk to HR. Find the right moment and talk to their boss—they’ll usually give you a nod and say they’re already doing something about it. It’ll probably take forever and be very messy, but hopefully they’ll either get off your project or entirely out of your life.

If that doesn’t work, you can try to transfer teams. But when you’re dealing with a real asshole, their reputation is probably well known in the company. If another team knows that taking you on will bring on the ire of the asshole in question, they might decide it’s not worth the hassle. I remember one instance where a person became a pariah—no other team wanted them, for fear that the losing manager would seek revenge.

That’s the thing about assholes—they’re so incredibly unpleasant that they stand out in your memory. They get a whole chapter in your book. But most people just want to go to the office and make something cool. The vast majority of people who cause you trouble aren’t malicious or Machiavellian—they’re struggling, or first-time managers, or in the wrong job, or just having a really, really bad day. Maybe their kid’s not sleeping. Maybe their mom died. Even the nicest people on Earth can act like assholes sometimes. Or maybe they’re passionate hurricanes who are pushing you further than you thought you could go, because they know you’re talented and that you’re holding yourself back.

Most people aren’t assholes.

And even if they are, they’re also human. So don’t walk into a job trying to get anyone fired. Start with kindness. Try to make peace. Assume the best.