Itâs the parents who respond to their childrenâs setbacks with interest and treat them as opportunities for learning who are transmitting a growth mindset to their children. These parents think setbacks are good things that should be embraced, and that setbacks should be used as a platform for learning. They address the setback head-on and talk to their children about the next steps for learning.
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So children with the fixed mindset want to make sure they succeed. Smart people should always succeed. But for children with the growth mindset, success is about stretching themselves. Itâs about becoming smarter.
Itâs also important to realize that even if people have a fixed mindset, theyâre not always in that mindset. In fact, in many of our studies, we put people into a growth mindset. We tell them that an ability can be learned and that the task will give them a chance to do that. Or we have them read a scientific article that teaches them the growth mindset. The article describes people who did not have natural ability, but who developed exceptional skills. These experiences make our research participants into growth-minded thinkers, at least for the moment - and they act like growth-minded thinkers, too.
In the fixed mindset, everything is about the outcome. If you failâor if youâre not the bestâitâs all been wasted. The growth mindset allows people to value what theyâre doing regardless of the outcome. Theyâre tackling problems, charting new courses, working on important issues. Maybe they havenât found the cure for cancer, but the search was deeply meaningful.
Many people believe that a growth mindset is only about effort, especially praising effort. I talked earlier about how praising the process children engage inâtheir hard work, strategies, focus, perseveranceâcan foster a growth mindset. In this way, children learn that the process they engage in brings about progress and learning, and that their learning does not just magically flow from some innate ability.
The first important thing to remember here is that the process includes more than just effort. Certainly, we want children to appreciate the fruits of hard work. But we also want them to understand the importance of trying new strategies when the one theyâre using isnât working. (We donât want them to just try harder with the same ineffective strategy.) And we want them to ask for help or input from others when itâs needed. This is the process we want them to appreciate: hard work, trying new strategies, and seeking input from others.
Even parents who hold a growth mindset can find themselves praising their childâs abilityâand neglecting to focus on their childâs learning process. It can be hard to shake the idea that telling kids theyâre smart will build their confidence.