It is not by muscle, speed, or physical dexterity that great things are achieved, but by reflection, force of character, and judgment; in these qualities old age is usually not only not poorer, but it is even richer.’

—Cicero (106–43 BC)

Once our client has taken care of his genuine needs and has set realistic expectations, life begins to flow effortlessly and he begins to harmonize with the people around him. Suddenly the world is there with all its stark beauty and intimate tenderness. Stuckness is gone - by dissolving its roots.

The failure to let go of a past identity manifests itself in a variety of ways, none of them positive. Some leaders bring all the accoutrements of their prior office to their new one, causing people to disdainfully view their new digs as a mausoleum.

2.6. Setting the Standards

It is inevitable if you enter into relations with people on a regular basis. . . that you will grow to be like them. . . . Place is an extinguished piece of coal nest to a live one, and either it will cause the other one to die out, or the live one will make the other reignite. . . . Remember that if you consort with someone covered in dirt you can hardly avoid getting a little grimy yourself.

• Epictetus

I must have inherited this respect for things from my father, who is a hoarder, though I have resisted forming an attachment to any object, or any place. I wished then and I wish now that I had never formed an attachment to anyone in the world either. I would be all kindness. I would not have done anything ruinous. I would never have to ask that question—when will I ever be good enough for you?—because by abolishing you, the opposite of I, I could erase that troublesome I from my narrative, too.