Industrialization? We don’t need it unless it’s industrialization the African way. That’s what I told them. Technology, industrialization, the machine, they’ve all brought about a progressive loss of respect for life, for nature, for the environment we live in, man. And Africans worship nature and life. Technology’s killing the spiritual things. Now, how can that be called modernization? No, man. That’s regression. The white man is leading us astray. The right way is the one of our ancestors: traditional technology, or naturalology. That’s the only viable way. Yeah, that’s what I believe. You know what viable means? It means life, man. Life!

Do I want to leave an imprint on the world? No. Not at all. You know what I want? I want the world to change. I don’t want to be remembered. I just want to do my part and leave. If remembering is part of the world’s thing, that’s their problem. I’ll do my part. I have to do my part. And everybody has to do his. Not for what they’re going to remember you for, but for what you believe in as a man. That’s what everybody should be about. If you want to do things because you want to be remembered, you are doing it for personal reasons only. Just do things ‘cause you believe in them. A human being should be like that.

And as for what my father said about Africa, as much as I wanted to belong to Africa or to any place for that matter, I knew that I didn’t. Not really. Not completely. In countless ways and for countless reasons, I loved growing up in many countries, among many cultures. It made it impossible for me to believe in the concept of supremacy. It deepened my ability to hold multiple truths at once, to practice and nurture empathy. But it has also meant that I have no resting place. I have perpetually been a them rather than an us. I have struggled with how to place myself in my family histories.

People who exercise their embryonic freedom day after day will, little by little, expand that freedom. People who do not will find that it withers until they are literally “being lived.” They are acting out the scripts written by parents, associates, and society. We are responsible for our own effectiveness, for our own happiness, and ultimately, I would say, for most of our circumstances. Samuel Johnson observed: “The fountain of content must spring up in the mind, and he who hath so little knowledge of human nature as to seek happiness by changing anything but his own disposition, will waste his life in fruitless efforts and multiply the grief he proposes to remove.” Knowing that we are responsible—“response-able”—is fundamental to effectiveness and to every other habit of effectiveness we will discuss.

My mum says it’s not done to talk about one’s own contribution. Rakgadi agrees, saying it’s not our culture. She does not mean Tswana or Xhosa culture. She means the culture of the Movement.The Struggle was a collective endeavour, above any individual. It seems ugly, grasping and glory hunting in the face of other people’s suffering to oneself front and centre. Freedom fighters were trained in secrecy. They took pride in it. Even couples instinctively knew what not to ask each other.