Personal pronouns take ownership. So whether we should use them or not depends on how much responsibility we want for whatever we’re talking about.

Consequently, whether to use pronouns or not depends on how we want to assign credit or blame, and how subjective or objective we want what is being said to seem.

When marketing a product, service, or experience, for example, is it more hedonic or more utilitarian? Are people buying it for pleasure or enjoyment, or more functional or practical reasons? If it’s more about enjoyment, emotional words like “awesome” and “beautiful” fit really well. Saying a movie is “heartwarming,” a destination is “inspiring,” or a meditation app is “fantastic” not only suggests those things are good but does so in a way that encourages purchase and action.

If the product, service, or experience is more about practical functionality, however, those same positive words may backfire. Less emotional words like “brilliant,” “flawless,” and “perfect” will be more persuasive. Calling a dictation app “brilliant” rather than “awesome,” for example, should encourage purchase and use.

For things like résumés and job applications, most evaluators have a utilitarian outlook. Like buying a product to fill a need, they’re looking for people who can solve a problem or add value.

People opened useful messages for extrinsic reasons; they had something to gain or lose. They opened the other messages for intrinsic reasons; they were just curious.