Although EQ was originally considered a form of intelligence, strong evidence suggests that it mostly represents individuals’ personal effectiveness, or the ability to navigate everyday interpersonal challenges successfully, both emotionally and socially. Clearly, personal effectiveness requires a minimum degree of self-control and resilience, critical elements of EQ. In addition, EQ is strongly associated with empathy, the ability to know what other people are feeling and thinking. And to be effective in any aspect of your personal life, you need to be able to influence others; empathy helps you do so.

To improve the quality of leadership, then, we cannot simply focus on merit. We need to be clearer about the leadership qualities we are looking for: emotional intelligence, intellectual capital, social capital, and psychological capital.

Emotional intelligence programs explained a lot and did very little. People did not practice the core underlying competencies they needed to learn in order to actually shift emotional intelligence — such as focusing one’s attention, exploring how individuals construct reality, and actively practicing selflessness and compassion. All these things are fundamental parts of mindfulness practice, but they were not included in emotional intelligence training at that time. Thus, without the component of practice, the revolution proved to be a failure.

I understood at a deeper level why, as I had worked through the years with people from all walks of life, I had found that the things I was teaching and knew to be effective were often at variance with these popular voices. I am not suggesting that elements of the Personality Ethic—personality growth, communication skill training, and education in the field of influence strategies and positive thinking—are not beneficial, in fact sometimes essential for success. I believe they are. But these are secondary, not primary traits. Perhaps, in utilizing our human capacity to build on the foundation of generations before us, we have inadvertently become so focused on our own building that we have forgotten the foundation that holds it up; or in reaping for so long where we have not sown, perhaps we have forgotten the need to sow.

Here are four key strengths you’ll need:

Self-accountability: holding yourself accountable for developing your abilities, managing your inabilities, and using reason to govern your actions

Self-knowledge: knowing your own strengths and weaknesses— what you’re capable of doing and what you’re not

Self-control: mastering your fears, desires, and emotions.

Self-confidence: trusting in your abilities and your value to others.