The feeling of success is a powerful catalyst for change. Your confidence grows when you celebrate not only because you are now a habit-creating machine but also because you are getting better and better at being nice to yourself. You start looking for opportunities to celebrate yourself instead of berating yourself.
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A remarkable thing Iâve learned from my research is that in the growth mindset, you donât always need confidence.
What I mean is that even when you think youâre not good at something, you can still plunge into it wholeheartedly and stick to it. Actually, sometimes you plunge into something because youâre not good at it. This is a wonderful feature of the growth mindset. You donât have to think youâre already great at something to want to do it and to enjoy doing it.
The deepest principle of human nature is the craving to be appreciated,â wrote William James, the father of American psychology. It is impossible to be motivated and do great work if you donât feel that somebody cares and appreciates what you do.
Studies have shown that for people to be happy and productive at work, they need to experience positive interactions (appreciation, praise) vs. negative (reprimands, criticism) with their manager/coach in a ratio of at least 3:1. (Watch out: For a marriage to work, you actually need a 5:1 ratio!!) So make it a simple habit to thank people each and every day â
and that includes using the word generously in emails to your team.
People change best by feeling good, not by feeling bad. Amy set herself up for success by thoughtfully using prompts to design changes. Those changes worked because they helped her do what she already wanted to do. And that success? That felt good.
Help people feel successful. Just four words. But so important. Note that this maxim doesnât say, âHelp people be successful.â Itâs about feeling successful instead.
Every product or service that is growing and thriving today does this well. They help us feel successful. Look at the products and services you loveâfrom shopping online to the clothing you wear to the apps you use every day for driving, communicating, or playing games. Youâll see that youâre getting a feeling of success from them.
Success leads to success. But hereâs something that may surprise you. The size of the success doesnât seem to matter very much. When you feel successful at something, even if itâs tiny, your confidence grows quickly, and your motivation increases to do that habit again and perform related behaviors. I call this success momentum. Surprisingly enough, this gets created by the frequency of your successes, not by the size. So with Tiny Habits you are shooting for a bunch of tiny successes done quickly. Not a big one that takes a long time.