Habit 4: Think Win/Win - Principles of Interpersonal Leadership
âAs with many, many problems between people in business, family, and other relationships, the problem in this company was the result of a flawed paradigm. The president was trying to get the fruits of cooperation from a paradigm of competition. And when it didnât work, he wanted a technique, a program, a quick fix antidote to make his people cooperate. But you canât change the fruit without changing the root. Working on the attitudes and behaviors would have been hacking at the leaves. So we focused instead on producing personal and organizational excellence in an entirely different way by developing information and reward systems which reinforced the value of cooperation.
Related Quotes
The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People - Stephen R. Covey
PART ONE: Paradigms and Principles
Inside-Out
âIn stark contrast, almost all the literature in the first 150 years or so focused on what could be called the Character Ethic as the foundation of successâthings like integrity, humility, fidelity, temperance, courage, justice, patience, industry, simplicity, modesty, and the Golden Rule. Benjamin Franklinâs autobiography is representative of that literature. It is, basically, the story of one manâs effort to integrate certain principles and habits deep within his nature.
The Character Ethic taught that there are basic principles of effective living, and that people can only experience true success and enduring happiness as they learn and integrate these principles into their basic character. But shortly after World War I the basic view of success shifted from the Character Ethic to what we might call the Personality Ethic. Success became more a function of personality, of public image, of attitudes and behaviors, skills and techniques, that lubricate the processes of human interaction. This Personality Ethic essentially took two paths: one was human and public relations techniques, and the other was positive mental attitude (PMA). Some of this philosophy was expressed in inspiring and sometimes valid maxims such as âYour attitude determines your altitude,â âSmiling wins more friends than frowning,â and âWhatever the mind of man can conceive and believe it can achieve.â
Other parts of the personality approach were clearly manipulative, even deceptive, encouraging people to use techniques to get other people to like them, or to fake interest in the hobbies of others to get out of them what they wanted, or to use the âpower look,â or to intimidate their way through life.
Some of this literature acknowledged character as an ingredient of success, but tended to compartmentalize it rather than recognize it as foundational and catalytic. Reference to the Character Ethic became mostly lip service; the basic thrust was quick-fix influence techniques, power strategies, communication skills, and positive attitudes.
I have seen the consequences of attempting to shortcut this natural process of growth often in the business world, where executives attempt to âbuyâ a new culture of improved productivity, quality, morale, and customer service with strong speeches, smile training, and external interventions, or through mergers, acquisitions, and friendly or unfriendly takeovers. But they ignore the low-trust climate produced by such manipulations. When these methods donât work, they look for other Personality Ethic techniques that willâall the time ignoring and violating the natural principles and processes on which a high-trust culture is based.
Can you see how fundamentally the paradigms of the Personality Ethic affect the very way we see our problems as well as the way we attempt to solve them? Whether people see it or not, many are becoming disillusioned with the empty promises of the Personality Ethic. As I travel around the country and work with organizations, I find that long-term thinking executives are simply turned off by psych up psychology and âmotivationalâ speakers who have nothing more to share than entertaining stories mingled with platitudes. They want substance; they want process. They want more than aspirin and band-aids. They want to solve the chronic underlying problems and focus on the principles that bring long-term results.
PART TWO: Private Victory
Habit 1: Be Proactive - Principles of Personal Vision
âIn fact, until we take how we see ourselves (and how we see others) into account, we will be unable to understand how others see and feel about themselves and their world. Unaware, we will project our intentions on their behavior and call ourselves objective. This significantly limits our personal potential and our ability to relate to others as well. But because of the unique human capacity of self-awareness, we can examine our paradigms to determine whether they are reality- or principle-based or if they are a function of conditioning and conditions.
As individuals, groups, and businesses, weâre often so busy cutting through the undergrowth we donât even realize weâre in the wrong jungle. And the rapidly changing environment in which we live makes effective leadership more critical than it has ever beenâin every aspect of independent and interdependent life. We are more in need of a vision or destination and a compass (a set of principles or directions) and less in need of a road map. We often donât know what the terrain ahead will be like or what we will need to go through it; much will depend on our judgment at the time. But an inner compass will
always give us direction.