I would be risking the whole company on this decision,” Graham wrote in her memoir, Personal History. Yet to opt for assured survival at the cost of the company’s soul, she concluded, would be worse than not surviving. The Post published.

Part 6: Be CEO

“In 2014, just before the Google acquisition, Nest spent around $250,000 per employee per year. That included decent office space, good health insurance, the occasional free lunch, and fun perks from time to time.

After we were acquired, that number shot up to $475,000 per person. Some of the increase was due to corporate red tape and increased salaries and benefits, but a lot of it was the added perks of free buses, free breakfast, lunch and dinner, tons of junk food, gleaming conference rooms with full A/V setups, and new office buildings. Even IT was expensive. It cost $10,000 per year to connect each employee’s computer to the Google Network and that didn’t even include the price of the laptop.

IKEA founder Ingvar Kamprad was reportedly worth $25 billion just before his death in 2018. But he lived in a modest house, drove a 1993 Volvo, bought his clothes at a flea market, and never traveled first class. Mary Barra is the CEO of General Motors, where she started at the age of eighteen. Despite being the most powerful female executive in the world and the first female CEO of any car company, she is consensus driven and team oriented, and her personality has been described as “vanilla” and “quiet.” According to Joann Muller of Forbes, Wall Street hailed Barra for accomplishing more in three years than most CEOs do in thirty; under her leadership, General Motors has enjoyed three years of record earnings.

Over the course of the next month, Tom and Steve went over the possible financial structure in great detail and arrived at a price: $7.4 billion. (It was an all-stock deal—2.3 Disney shares for each Pixar share, and netted out to $6.4 billion because Pixar had $1 billion in cash.) Even if Steve stopped just short of being greedy, it was still a huge price, and it was going to be a tough sell to our board and to investors.

Courage, the saying goes, is not the absence of fear but the ability to act in the presence of fear. Katherine Graham lived and led with fear and anxiety that would never fully abate, no matter how successful, or powerful, or famous, or wealthy she might be or become. Warren Buffett described her as marching forward with knocking knees. Ben Bradlee related that she talked about worrying awake at night, “picking the wool off the blankets.” She paid a hefty Stress and Drudgery Tax, not just in leading through dramatic episodes, but also in shouldering the more routine duties of effective leadership such as giving speeches. Even the prospect of making remarks at the staff holiday party would loom for days or weeks ahead of time, filling her with dread. Graham herself copiously conveyed her inner turmoil; I quick count across her memoir yielded some permutation of words of fear or anxiety (for example, “dread,” “terrified,” “anxious,” “worried,” “fretted,” “frightened,” “nervous,” “anguish”) 289 times in reference to herself.