Instead of prematurely asking what you should do, try something new. Ask no questions rather than an action question. Try meditating, exercising, sensing your arms and legs, or any of the approaches we have suggested for putting you in touch with your inner creative ability. Then try answering any or all of the following questions:

• What is it I don’t yet understand? This question or ones like it can penetrate the mind for clarity and understanding.

• What is it that I’m really feeling? When there is a problem there are usually emotions - fear, anger, hurt, or sorrow - and this question can help you become aware of seeing them specifically.

• What is it that I’m not seeing? Problems usually come from not seeing clearly. By asking about what you are not seeing specifically, almost as if it consists of material objects, you heighten your perceptual ability.

• What voice is speaking? Is it your Voice of Judgment, your objective intelligence, your voice of childhood emotions or fears, or the voice of your Essence speaking inside of you? You can bet that if you have a problem, the objective intelligence and the Essence are relatively silent. But personifying and identifying the inner voices contributing to a problem sometimes is enough in itself to achieve the clarity needed for action.

This kind of exploratory questioning for clarity doesn’t take long, especially when preceded or followed by meditation.

[One of the elements of conducting a conversation with a client is] refraining from making judgments about what our conversational partner says and, instead, expressing respectful curiosity for whatever is brought up.

Perhaps by asking the following questions you can appreciate the way coaching fits into your client’s array of commitments:

1. What could interrupt this coaching program for you?

2. How does coaching fit into what you’re already doing?

3. How will you respond when the program seems to be going too slowly, or gets boring, or repetitious, or even seems pointless?

So another part of the answer is that the coach speaks in a way that frees the client to take action.

Your coach then interviews these people [people important to your life and wellbeing] and asks for open feedback on what they think could be holding you back or could become an obstacle to your success. For instance, as Goodman learned with respect to her own leadership, cutting people off in their presentations was inhibiting the free flow of information and, even worse, preventing her from hearing from her own high-potential employees.

Your coach then synthesizes this information for you. As Goldsmith’s clients will tell you, that initial, honest conversation can be tough, as it often challenges your own perceptions, and not necessarily in a pleasant way. Together, you and your coach decide what actions you would like to take to start working on the implications of the feedback and what evidence would suggest that you have been successful in addressing them.