Flaherty
The genuine work of a coaching program begins when a coach and client both declare the outcomes that they are dedicated to accomplish.
A huge portion of coachingâs power comes from clients intentionally making declarations, a deliberate stepping out from reacting to life, from one incident to another.
We do, however, have the wherewithal to say what we care about, what we will commit to, and what we will stay true to in the face of any and all difficulties.
When we live aligned with what weâve declared to be central to us, though, our life is imbued with meaning in each breath, each activity, each conversation, and each relationship.
As coaches, we are presenting ourselves as people who are committed to the commitments of our clients.
[One of the elements of conducting a conversation with a client is] refraining from making judgments about what our conversational partner says and, instead, expressing respectful curiosity for whatever is brought up.
The next time youâre in a conversation for action that doesnât seem to be going anywhere, be it with a family member or work team, please consider whether enough depth of relationship is in place and enough possibilities have been explored to give a foundation for the current conversation to go forward.
Perhaps you have already made the step in seeing that a large number of coaching issues that clients bring are addressable and resolvable by the client becoming skillful in speaking and listening.
...our success is forwarded or limited by our ability to speak and listen.
In enrollment, both the client and the coach make explicit what they are committed to accomplishing in the coaching program.
The second job in enrollment is to frankly discuss potential hindrances to achieving the outcomes.
Dealing with the hindrances so forthrightly may call into question what the outcomes of the program should be, and itâs perfectly fine to go back and change the outcomes in light of what is discussed around hindrances.
..., the outcomes must be stated in sufficient clarity that both parties will be able to recognize them as occurring or not and also be able to discern what progress has been made toward them.
...avoid generally descriptive words such as successful completion or outstanding performance. Such terms are so open to individual interpretation that itâs frequently unclear whether theyâve been achieved or not, or whether progress is being made toward them. Itâs not that all outcomes must be reduced to a number or statistic, but they must be observable, and not exist solely within the private assessment of the coach or client.
Perhaps by asking the following questions you can appreciate the way coaching fits into your clientâs array of commitments:
1. What could interrupt this coaching program for you?
2. How does coaching fit into what youâre already doing?
3. How will you respond when the program seems to be going too slowly, or gets boring, or repetitious, or even seems pointless?
Iâm recommending that you speak in a way that touches the emotions of your client when youâre doing enrollment, because emotions directly affect the will.
The most abstract way to answer the question is to respond that you say to your client something that will allow him to make a new observation. A more everyday way of answering is that you will speak with your client so that he will be able to see something or understand something or appreciate something that he couldnât before.
So another part of the answer is that the coach speaks in a way that frees the client to take action.
The principle of coaching is to provide language and practice that alter the structure of interpretation of the client.
Once our client has taken care of his genuine needs and has set realistic expectations, life begins to flow effortlessly and he begins to harmonize with the people around him. Suddenly the world is there with all its stark beauty and intimate tenderness. Stuckness is gone - by dissolving its roots.
One of the important contributions coaches make is having a wide perspective on the clientâs situation.