Consequently, it’s not enough just to listen. To make people feel heard, we have to show them that we listened. We have to respond in a way that demonstrates that we attended to and understood what they said.

And this is why concrete language is so valuable. A customer service representative may have paid attention, and understood the problem, but without some outward signal of understanding, there is no way for the customer to know.

Concrete language provides that signal. Using specific, concrete language shows that rather than just going through the motions, someone went to the effort to attend to and understand what was said. Or, said differently, to listen.

Concrete language boosted customer satisfaction, and purchase, because it showed customers that employees were listening to their needs…

So while attending to and understanding needs are key facets of listening, using concrete language takes it one step further. It shows listening.

Restaurants with more emotional reviews get more reservations, movies with more emotional reviews do better at the box office, and books with more emotional reviews sell more copies. Using emotional language suggests people have stronger attitudes, which may lead their experiences to have a bigger effect on others.

But rather than always being persuasive, whether emotional language encourages action depends on is the type of thing we’re trying to persuade people about.

... emotional language had different effects in these two types of domains.

As mentioned, for hedonic things (music, movies, and novels), emotional language increased impact. Emotional reviews were more helpful and made consumers more interested in making a purchase…

For utilitarian products, however, the opposite occurred. For razors, emotionality backfired. Emotional reviews were less helpful, made people less willing to purchase whatever was reviewed.

Because while emotionality is good for hedonic things, it’s bad for more utilitarian ones. When picking and using hedonic products and services, emotion is a deciding factor. People want sports cars to be exciting, movies to be enjoyable, and vacations to be fun. So when emotional words are used to describe hedonic things, people think they’ll like those things more. But when picking and using utilitarian products and services, evoking emotion isn’t really the goal.

When marketing a product, service, or experience, for example, is it more hedonic or more utilitarian? Are people buying it for pleasure or enjoyment, or more functional or practical reasons? If it’s more about enjoyment, emotional words like “awesome” and “beautiful” fit really well. Saying a movie is “heartwarming,” a destination is “inspiring,” or a meditation app is “fantastic” not only suggests those things are good but does so in a way that encourages purchase and action.

If the product, service, or experience is more about practical functionality, however, those same positive words may backfire. Less emotional words like “brilliant,” “flawless,” and “perfect” will be more persuasive. Calling a dictation app “brilliant” rather than “awesome,” for example, should encourage purchase and use.

But although people often think it makes sense to jump into addressing the issue at hand, that’s not actually the best course of action. When we analyzed hundreds of problem-solving conversations, we found that connecting first was key, starting with warmer, more emotional language before diving into addressing the issues.

Relationship building (or maintenance) helps set the stage for whatever comes next. It strengthens social connection and builds rapport. Consequently, warm, emotional language is particularly useful at the beginning of a conversation.