Because rather than suggesting that some words are good and others are bad, it highlights the importance of linguistic similarity. In this case, people whose language matched the group’s tended to be more likely to stick around.

Understanding whether people are going to keep contributing to an online community, though, is only one of the many things distance helps explain. And to harness its power we need to know (1) when to signal similarity, (2) when to be different, and (3) how to plot the right progression.

Linguistic similarity even helped distinguish between employees who stayed at the firm and those who left to pursue better options. Not because they got fired, but because they were offered something better elsewhere. These folks assimilated early on, but at some point, their language started to diverge. While clearly capable of adapting, eventually they stopped trying, foreshadowing their intention to quit.

Using similar language can facilitate conversation, make people feel connected, and increase their perception that they are part of the same tribe. All of which can increase liking, trust, and a variety of positive downstream outcomes.

Using similar language seems to pay off at the office, but using different language makes songs more successful. So when is similarity good and when is difference better?

Differentiation is also linked to creativity and memorability. Creative people’s thoughts tend to jump among different ideas, and slogans and movie quotes that are phrased more distinctively…

Overall, then, similarity and difference can both be good and bad. Similarity feels familiar and safe but can also be boring. Difference can be exciting and stimulating but can also be risky.