Awhile back, Sheryl Sandberg of Facebook spent a day shadowing me at work. She attended all of my meetings and one-onones. Itâs something I do occasionally with other Silicon Valley executives, so we can learn from watching one another in action. Afterward, when Sheryl and I debriefed, she said, âThe amazing thing was to sit with you all day long and see that you didnât make one decision!
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Sheryl Sandberg was the one who taught me otherwise. Some years ago, Sheryl started talking to the company about the importance of hard conversations. Whenever weâre feeling tension with our coworkersâthey have a habit that irritates us, we disagree about an important decision, or they do something that seems thoughtlessâshe encouraged us to sit down with the other person and discuss that tension openly. Because if you donât, nothing will get better, and resentment will only grow.
Instead I reminded myself of what I often tell leaders throughout Netflix:
When one of your people does something dumb donât blame them. Instead ask yourself what context you failed to set. Are you articulate and inspiring enough in expressing your goals and strategy? Have you clearly explained all the assumptions and risks that will help your team to make good decisions? Are you and your employees highly aligned on vision and objectives?
Iâm comforted by something Iâve come to believe more and more in recent yearsâthat itâs not always good for one person to have too much power for too long. Even when a CEO is working productively and effectively, itâs important for a company to have change at the top. I donât know if other CEOs agree with this, but Iâve noticed that you can accumulate so much power in a job that it becomes harder to keep a check on how you wield it. Little things can start to shift. Your confidence can easily tip over into overconfidence and become a liability. You can start to feel that youâve heard every idea, and so you become impatient and dismissive of othersâ opinions. Itâs not intentional, it just comes with the territory. You have to make a conscious effort to listen, to pay attention to the multitude of opinions. Iâve raised the issue with the executives I work most closely with as a kind of safeguard. âIf you notice me being too dismissive or impatient, you need to tell me.â Theyâve had to on occasion, but I hope not too often.
I learned an incredibly important lesson,â she [Sheryl Sandberg] says. âItâs not what you used to do, itâs not what you think, itâs what you do every day.â This is perhaps the most important characteristic Bill looked for in his players: people who show up, work hard, and have an impact every day. Doers.
Iâm always interested in what others, and not just the esteemed critic from The New York Times, think about what weâre doing. If your business involves making people happy, then you canât be good at it if you donât care what people think. The day you stop reading your criticism is the day you grow complacent, and irrelevance wonât be far behind.