For more cases and detail on the power of inquiry as a fundamental leadership skill, I recommend Ed Schein's thoughtful book, Humble Inquiry.

Each morning many of us wake up and put our amor on. We come to see life as something to be withstood, something to get through, unscathed. We block out the noise, march on with our head down, surviving—as an employee, a parent, a student, a partner. The risk in all this, of course, is that we get to the end never really hearing what our life was telling us all along. Never really seeing ourselves for all that we are.

With this book, my hope is that you can change all of this. You can change your relationship with life and your relationship with yourself. Because, in truth, your life is not the clamor to be shut out. It is instead the source of all joy, passion, power, and contribution. Each day, life is sending you thousands of signals revealing where you are at your best, where you’re strongest, most creative, most attractive, most special. Each day your life is speaking to you in a language only you can understand.

Whenever you have a department scream for more help, rather than throw more of the same people at the situation, try Buckingham’s approach. And before starting the “love and loathe” exercise, have your team take the inexpensive online StrengthsFinder assessment offered by Gallup (gallupstrengthscenter.com). You will get insightful reports that will serve as conversation-starters and will help your people achieve self-awareness about their strengths.

And last, read Chapters 5 and 6 in Marcus Buckingham and Curt Coffman’s First, Break All the Rules: What the World’s Greatest Managers Do Differently

This hint is courtesy of Aubrey C. Daniels, author of Bringing Out the Best in People: How to Apply the Astonishing Power of Positive Reinforcement (a foundational business book that all leaders should read).