She needed Richard in her personal mythic development, but she did not necessarily need Richard the person.

If the symptom is dependency, we help the person become effectively vulnerable.

The symptom of being too dependent becomes the virtue of being appropriately vulnerable and open to influence. Anger becomes personal power. Jealousy becomes a capacity for intimacy and interdependency.

We are back at Rule Number One: some things have to be taught. You can’t expect an average person to know the rules of effective engagement with others.

If I am dealing with a particularly shaken person, I keep the boundaries strict and firm, but with most clients I make a point to be present as more than the therapist. I talk a little about, my life. If the client asks about how things are going for me, I tell him. I may bring up an experience of mine that seems apropos. I do all this thoughtfully and minimally, just enough to be present as a person. My purpose is to serve the soul of the person I want to help. I hold back my own needs for a different occasion.