Here is someone who needs to learn better how to let others have some power and influence over her without her feeling too dependent.

The symptom of being too dependent becomes the virtue of being appropriately vulnerable and open to influence. Anger becomes personal power. Jealousy becomes a capacity for intimacy and interdependency.

The therapist is seeing the situation differently, and that itself may be helpful. When therapist and client are not in the same narrative, there is space for change.

If I am dealing with a particularly shaken person, I keep the boundaries strict and firm, but with most clients I make a point to be present as more than the therapist. I talk a little about, my life. If the client asks about how things are going for me, I tell him. I may bring up an experience of mine that seems apropos. I do all this thoughtfully and minimally, just enough to be present as a person. My purpose is to serve the soul of the person I want to help. I hold back my own needs for a different occasion.

When a woman’s soul is set to blossom, she may feel at first that she needs to be released from the nurturing, sensitive identity she has known for many years.