The question-a-week program. You can use questions to take stock as well as to deal with ongoing problems. You will find that if you ask yourself a review question at the end of each week, you will gain much clarity about what is actually going on in your life.

Try asking one of these questions each week, and then go back in subsequent weeks to the ones that prove productive for you.

• This week who or what was my teacher?

• This week what did I learn?

• This week what did my VOJ say?

• This week what did I observe?

• This week what did I forget?

• This week how did I take care of myself?

• This week what was my relationship to time?

• This week what permission did I give myself regarding emotions?

• This week what did I notice about love?

• This week what truth did I find?

Here are some of my favorite questions to get the conversation moving:

• Identify: These questions focus on what really matters for your report and what topics are worth spending more time on.

What’s top of mind for you right now?

What priorities are you thinking about this week?

What’s the best use of our time today?

• Understand: Once you’ve identified a topic to discuss, these next questions get at the root of the problem and what can be done about it.

What does your ideal outcome look like?

What’s hard for you in getting to that outcome?

What do you really care about?

What do you think is the best course of action?

What’s the worst-case scenario you’re worried about?

• Support: These questions zero in on how you can be of greatest service to your report.

How can I help you?

What can I do to make you more successful?

What was the most useful part of our conversation today?

If you’re not sure what your ideal environment looks like, ask yourself the following:

• Which six-month period of my life did I feel the most energetic and productive? What gave me that energy?

• In the past month, what moments stand out as highlights? What conditions enabled those moments to happen, and are they re-creatable?

• In the past week, when was I in a state of deep focus? How did I get there?

Big questions interrupt the daily routines people fall into and prompt them to step back

and see their life from a distance. Here are some of my favorite questions that do that:

• “What crossroads are you at?” At any moment, most of us are in the middle of some

transition. The question helps people focus on theirs.

• “What would you do if you weren’t afraid?” Most people know that fear plays some role in their life, but they haven’t clearly defined how fear is holding them back.

• “If you died tonight, what would you regret not doing?”

• “If we meet a year from now, what will we be celebrating?”

• “If the next five years is a chapter in your life, what is that chapter about?”

• “Can you be yourself where you are and still fit in?

We too often think that deep conversations have to be painful or vulnerable conversations. I try to compensate for that by asking questions about the positive sides of life:

• “Tell me about a time you adapted to change.”

• “What’s working really well in your life?”

• “What are you most self-confident about?”

• “Which of your five senses is strongest?”

• “Have you ever been solitary without feeling lonely?” or

• “What has become clearer to you as you have aged?