Instead of prematurely asking what you should do, try something new. Ask no questions rather than an action question. Try meditating, exercising, sensing your arms and legs, or any of the approaches we have suggested for putting you in touch with your inner creative ability. Then try answering any or all of the following questions:

• What is it I don’t yet understand? This question or ones like it can penetrate the mind for clarity and understanding.

• What is it that I’m really feeling? When there is a problem there are usually emotions - fear, anger, hurt, or sorrow - and this question can help you become aware of seeing them specifically.

• What is it that I’m not seeing? Problems usually come from not seeing clearly. By asking about what you are not seeing specifically, almost as if it consists of material objects, you heighten your perceptual ability.

• What voice is speaking? Is it your Voice of Judgment, your objective intelligence, your voice of childhood emotions or fears, or the voice of your Essence speaking inside of you? You can bet that if you have a problem, the objective intelligence and the Essence are relatively silent. But personifying and identifying the inner voices contributing to a problem sometimes is enough in itself to achieve the clarity needed for action.

This kind of exploratory questioning for clarity doesn’t take long, especially when preceded or followed by meditation.

The ruthless and relentless game. Carry around in your back pocket these dozen ruthless and relentless questions. Flourish them whenever you feel you are not getting to the heart of a personal or professional problem.

• At the moment, what is my aim? This question is about your deepest wish, not goals, for the next fiscal year. Put your key life purpose on the line at that moment, not in the past or the future.

• If the truth be known, what’s really going on? There is a certain magic in asking for the truth. Use this question to cut through to the basics in any situation so that you can act with efficiency.

• What is the VOJ saying? This question reminds you to be aware of and eliminate the negative effect of inner blame and criticism.

• Is this who I am, or who I’m attempting to be? The central contradiction of your life is between the Essence and ego. This question helps silence the ego.

• What is it that this person provokes in me? Instead of concentrating on questions such as: “What’s wrong with her?” “Why are they doing this to me?” focus on what you can do something about: your own actions, thoughts, feelings, and sensations.

• What is the objective reality? Appeal to your own objective intelligence with this one. Strip away all the rest: fears, judgments, chattering of the mind, ego, false personality. This question acts like a meditation: All that is extraneous slips away and you concentrate on what is real.

• What is the emotional truth? Four emotions - fear, anger, hurt, and sorrow - cloud your thinking. If anger, or any of the emotions, is getting in the way, you must acknowledge that truth first rather than blame other people.

• What pain am I avoiding? Over and over, our speakers, students, and clients point out that real learning and progress arise from pain and difficulty. This question teaches you to pay attention to the pain in order to gain insight.

• What stubbornness am I holding on to? You know intellectually that the only constant thing is change, but you might find it difficult to live this truth. Change isn’t the problem; holding on to stubbornness is. Acknowledge and understand that with this question.

• Is this choice the same as my real choice? Your real problems might be different from the apparent one.

• What is it that I don’t yet understand? Again, if you feel upset, there is something that you do not understand. If other questions fail to lead you to this understanding, you can just ask yourself directly.

• Who said that, my mother or my father? This question smokes out the VOJ.

Introduction

Q. What would you like to get clear about today?

A. I’d like to get clear about my relationship to …

Q. What is it about … that isn’t clear?

The Questions

1.a) What is the GOAL you would like to achieve?

b) What solutions have been attempted so far?

c) What was it about these attempts that didn’t work?

1. What is your feeling regarding the situation? (Feeling means an emotional state - i.e. anger, hurt, fear, sorrow)

1. What is your attitude regarding the situation? (Attitude means a state of mind - i.e. contempt, judgment, criticism)

1. What benefits do you receive from having this situation?

1. What is the reality of the situation?

1. What would you like to see happen?

1. What else would you like to see happen?

1. What do you need to do at this time?

1. How would your life be different if this situation were changed?

1. What one thing are you willing to change to make this be what you would like it to be?

If you’re not sure what your ideal environment looks like, ask yourself the following:

• Which six-month period of my life did I feel the most energetic and productive? What gave me that energy?

• In the past month, what moments stand out as highlights? What conditions enabled those moments to happen, and are they re-creatable?

• In the past week, when was I in a state of deep focus? How did I get there?

SEVEN: The Right Questions

“In my case, he asked me about three topics: my ultimate goals (What do you want to offer the world?), my skills (What are you doing when you feel most alive?), and my schedule (How exactly do you fill your days?). These were questions that lifted me out of the daily intricacies of my schedule and forced me to look at the big picture.