After interviewing thousands of candidates, I’ve found these three questions to be the most catalytic in terms of learning more about a candidate:

a. In some ways, we’re probably all occasionally misperceived at work. People see us one way, but—in truth—we’re different than that. What’s the most common way you’re misperceived?

b. What’s the biggest mistake you’ve made in your career? And why did you answer the question with this particular mistake?

c. At what skill are you world-class? And I’d be honored if you gave me some evidence of that talent?

The slip-up, though, should be relatively minor. Spilling something on one’s jacket or making a small mistake can make people more relatable. A mistake that is more central to the job at hand will likely be viewed more negatively.

Note that healthy attributions about failure not only stay balanced and rational, they also take account of the ways—small or large—that you may have contributed to what happened. Maybe you didn’t prepare sufficiently for the interview. This is not to beat yourself up or wallow in shame. Quite the contrary; it’s about developing the self-awareness and confidence to keep learning, making whatever changes you need so as to do better next time. Each of us is a fallible human being, living and working with other fallible human beings. Even if we work to overcome our emotional aversion to failure, failing effectively isn’t automatic. We also need help to reduce the confusion created by the glib talk about failure that is especially rampant in conversations on entrepreneurship.

I’d go so far as to say that insisting on high standards without psychological safety is a recipe for failure—and not the good kind. People are more likely to mess up (even for things they know how to do well) when they’re stressed. Similarly, when you have a question about how to do something but don’t feel able to ask someone, you’re at risk of running headlong into a basic failure. Also, when people encounter intelligent failures, they need to feel safe enough to tell other people about them. These useful failures are no longer “intelligent” when they happen a second time.

3.3. How to Handle Mistakes

Mistakes are an unavoidable part of life. Even the most skilled people make mistakes, because there are so many factors beyond our knowledge and control that impact our success. This is true especially when we’re pushing the boundaries of knowledge or potential. On the frontier of what we can know or do, there are no wagon tracks to follow, no familiar landmarks, no mile markers, no road maps to guide us. We’re moving forward without the benefit of anyone else’s hindsight. Mistakes will happen. Part of taking command of our lives is managing those missteps when they do happen.