My report and I regularly give each other critical feedback and it isn’t taken personally. If your report does work that you don’t think is great, are you comfortable saying that directly? Similarly, would your report tell you if he thinks you’ve made a mistake?

My friend Mark Rabkin shared a tip with me that I love: strive for all your one-on-one meetings to feel a little awkward. Why? Because the most important and meaningful conversations have that characteristic. It isn’t easy to discuss mistakes, confront tensions, or talk about deep fears or secret hopes, but no strong relationship can be built on superficial pleasantries alone.

Here are some ideas to get started:

• Discuss top priorities: What are the one, two, or three most critical outcomes for your report and how can you help her tackle these challenges?

• Calibrate what “great” looks like: Do you have a shared vision of what you’re working toward? Are you in sync about goals or expectations?

• Share feedback: What feedback can you give that will help your report, and what can your report tell you that will make you more effective as a manager?

• Reflect on how things are going: Once in a while, it’s useful to zoom out and talk about your report’s general state of mind—how is he feeling on the whole? What’s making him satisfied or dissatisfied? Have any of his goals changed? What has he learned recently and what does he want to learn going forward?

Your job as a manager isn’t to dole out advice or “save the day”—it’s to empower your report to find the answer herself. She has more context than you on the problems she’s dealing with, so she’s in the best position to uncover the solution. Let her lead the 1:1 while you listen and probe.

Here are some of my favorite questions to get the conversation moving:

• Identify: These questions focus on what really matters for your report and what topics are worth spending more time on.

What’s top of mind for you right now?

What priorities are you thinking about this week?

What’s the best use of our time today?

• Understand: Once you’ve identified a topic to discuss, these next questions get at the root of the problem and what can be done about it.

What does your ideal outcome look like?

What’s hard for you in getting to that outcome?

What do you really care about?

What do you think is the best course of action?

What’s the worst-case scenario you’re worried about?

• Support: These questions zero in on how you can be of greatest service to your report.

How can I help you?

What can I do to make you more successful?

What was the most useful part of our conversation today?

For the things that you do better than your reports, unless it falls into the “most important priorities” bucket or you don’t believe they are set up to succeed, you should still try to delegate as much as possible and coach them along the way.