Saying âI donât,â however, suggests something quite different. When asked to complete âI donâtâ statements, the type of reasons people list change dramatically. Try filling in the following statements.
I donât eat ____________ because ____________.
I donât buy ____________ because ____________.
I donât ____________ because ____________.
Rather than being some temporary constraint, now the driver of saying no is something more permanent; itâs an entrenched attitude.
And rather than being external, or someone else or something else that is preventing us from doing what we want, now the locus of control is more internal. I donât eat deep-dish pizza because I donât like it that much. I donât check my email every five minutes because Iâd rather get some deep thinking done.
Saying âI donâtâ helped people avoid temptation because it made them feel empowered. Like they were in control. Rather than something else getting in the way of something they wanted to do, they were in the driverâs seat. It was up to them. Sure, I could binge-watch, spend frivolously, or fritter time away, but Iâd rather not. Iâd prefer to be doing something else. And this feeling of empowerment made it easier for them to turn down temptation. After all, those goals were theirs in the first place.