Nature is eternally restless. It doesn’t sit still, it doesn’t wait for a catastrophe, it doesn’t ask permission, it doesn’t plan—it just tries stuff. The same needs to be true of your organization. That means letting people be as experimental at work as they are in the rest of their lives. In the words of the great management thinker, Elvis Presley, it’s time for “a little less conversation and a little more action.” So just go try something.

Saying “I don’t,” however, suggests something quite different. When asked to complete “I don’t” statements, the type of reasons people list change dramatically. Try filling in the following statements.

I don’t eat ____________ because ____________.

I don’t buy ____________ because ____________.

I don’t ____________ because ____________.

Rather than being some temporary constraint, now the driver of saying no is something more permanent; it’s an entrenched attitude.

And rather than being external, or someone else or something else that is preventing us from doing what we want, now the locus of control is more internal. I don’t eat deep-dish pizza because I don’t like it that much. I don’t check my email every five minutes because I’d rather get some deep thinking done.

Saying “I don’t” helped people avoid temptation because it made them feel empowered. Like they were in control. Rather than something else getting in the way of something they wanted to do, they were in the driver’s seat. It was up to them. Sure, I could binge-watch, spend frivolously, or fritter time away, but I’d rather not. I’d prefer to be doing something else. And this feeling of empowerment made it easier for them to turn down temptation. After all, those goals were theirs in the first place.

Even though nearly everyone engages in these negative behaviors at some time, I think it’s worth defining them to clarify the strategies they employ.

CRITICISM — Making disapproving judgments. Often this is a way to show that the other person’s pain is their fault, which relieves us of an obligation to help.

CONTEMPT — To despise or dishonor; to question someone’s honesty or integrity. This is usually used to deny the pain or undermine its validity. We don’t have to share what doesn’t exist.

DEFENSIVENESS — Putting up barriers to avoid a challenge or criticism; disagreeing over circumstances or facts. Like criticism, this is usually used to deny fault or personal responsibility and thus our obligation to help.

STONEWALLING — Delaying or blocking by refusing to answer questions or by giving evasive replies. In other words, when all else fails, we simply ignore what we don’t want to see or deal with.

Leaders who settle issues too quickly limit their opportunity to grasp the ramifications. One of the most dangerous traps is failing to solicit the input of others on the team. Not only does this mean that you most likely won’t have all the information, but you will be absolutely certain to disenfranchise your colleagues. “It is close to fatal to decide or pronounce before you listen,” says Henry Schacht. “And in crisis situations, I think you exacerbate the problem as opposed to moving towards a sound situation. Even if at the end you come back to exactly the same decision you would have made, how you get there is as important as getting there.

Being able to ask for help is a display of strength and confidence. It shows an understanding of your abilities and an awareness of what’s happening around you. People who refuse to ask for help, who believe they can handle everything on their own, are deceiving themselves and doing a disservice to those around them. As Danny Meyer used to say, hospitality is a team sport. If you let your ego get in the way of asking for what you need, you’re going to let the whole team down, and the hospitality you’re delivering is going to suffer.