But using their first names, or words like “you,” “he,” or “she” encouraged them to think like an outsider and see the situation more positively. Rather than complaining or stressing themselves out even more, it encouraged them to provide support and advice: “Jane, you can do this. You’ve given a ton of speeches before.”

Outsider language helped speakers see things more objectively, making the situation less anxiety-inducing. They felt fewer negative emotions and appraised the situation in more positive terms. More as a challenge that they could cope with, or rise up to meet, rather than a threat that they felt unprepared for or overwhelmed by.

As O’Barr had predicted, slight differences in wording changed how the witness was perceived. Speaking like a professional made the witness seem more credible. Listeners saw them as more trustworthy, competent, and convincing, and were more likely to believe what they had to say.

But if we want people to think our idea has potential, or that we’re a forward-thinking visionary, abstract language is more effective.

Abstract language also suggests that communicators are more powerful and would be better managers or leaders. Using abstract language to describe everyday activities (e.g., describing ignoring someone as “showing dislike” rather than “not saying hello”) makes people seem more focused on the big picture, and thus more powerful, dominant, and in control. Similarly, hearing someone describe a product more abstractly (i.e., “nutritious” rather than “containing lots of vitamins”) made them seem more fit to be a manager or leader.

Consequently, we need to harness the power of linguistic concreteness.

• Make people feel heard. Want to show someone you’re listening? Be concrete. Give specific details that show we paid attention and understood.

• Be concrete. Don’t just pick things that sound good, use words that listeners can see in their minds. It’s a lot easier to imagine a red sportscar than ideation.

• Focus on the How. Thinking about the nuts and bolts of how something will happen, and focusing on specific actions, makes things concrete.

But while concrete language is often useful, if our goal is to come off as powerful, or make something seem like it has growth potential, using abstract language is better. In those cases:

• Focus on the why. Thinking about the reasoning behind something helps things stay high level and communicate that big picture.

Behavioral scientists have conducted hundreds of studies about the differences between powerful and powerless words and phrases. We are especially smitten with research led by Jonah Berger at the University of Pennsylvania and by our Stanford colleague Jennifer Aaker. We draw mostly on their work to generate five tips about the kind of talk that provokes people to act, persist, and develop imaginative solutions.