But for someone to feel heard, three things have to happen. First, they have to feel like the other person paid attention to what they said. Second, they have to feel like the other person understood what they said. And third, the other person has to demonstrate that they listened.

Consequently, it’s not enough just to listen. To make people feel heard, we have to show them that we listened. We have to respond in a way that demonstrates that we attended to and understood what they said.

And this is why concrete language is so valuable. A customer service representative may have paid attention, and understood the problem, but without some outward signal of understanding, there is no way for the customer to know.

Concrete language provides that signal. Using specific, concrete language shows that rather than just going through the motions, someone went to the effort to attend to and understand what was said. Or, said differently, to listen.

Concrete language boosted customer satisfaction, and purchase, because it showed customers that employees were listening to their needs…

So while attending to and understanding needs are key facets of listening, using concrete language takes it one step further. It shows listening.

We need to make the abstract concrete. Whether talking to colleagues or clients, students or sales reps, patients or program managers, we need to take abstract ideas and make them real by using concrete language. Helping people understand, and act on, what we’re saying.

More generally, when trying to make language either more concrete or more abstract, one helpful approach is to focus on either the how or the why.

Want to be more concrete? Focus on the how. How does a product meet consumer needs? How does a proposed new initiative address an important problem? Thinking about how something is or will be done encourages concreteness. It focuses on the feasibility and helps generate concrete descriptions.

Want to be more abstract? Focus on the why. Why does a product meet consumer needs? Why does a proposed new initiative address an important problem? Thinking about why something is good or right encourages abstractness. It focuses on its desirability and helps generate abstract descriptions.

Consequently, we need to harness the power of linguistic concreteness.

• Make people feel heard. Want to show someone you’re listening? Be concrete. Give specific details that show we paid attention and understood.

• Be concrete. Don’t just pick things that sound good, use words that listeners can see in their minds. It’s a lot easier to imagine a red sportscar than ideation.

• Focus on the How. Thinking about the nuts and bolts of how something will happen, and focusing on specific actions, makes things concrete.

But while concrete language is often useful, if our goal is to come off as powerful, or make something seem like it has growth potential, using abstract language is better. In those cases:

• Focus on the why. Thinking about the reasoning behind something helps things stay high level and communicate that big picture.