The practice of beginner’s mind, of not assuming we know, is a way to build greater understanding and trust, especially when we have a disagreement or conflict with someone else. Listening is a key skill in creating that trust and connection.

“In that sense a therapist or good friend listens to another to find out who she is, what is special about her. In this kind of listening you not only take in someone’s words but also discover who they are.

Truly listening involves relating to another person not through your internal filter but in a quiet, observant, connected way.

Listening, I’ve come to understand, is bearing witness to lives unfolding, to lives being discovered. Deep listening, listening compassionately, means guiding, gently nudging, or sometimes shoving people down the path of radical self-inquiry so they can make their way to their own truest selves. Then, and only then, can they lead with the dignity and grace of being human.

Listening involves patience, openness, and the desire to understand—highly developed qualities of character. It’s so much easier to operate from a low emotional level and to give high-level advice.