Without negativity you . . . lose touch with reality. You’re not genuine. In time, you drive people away.” So allow yourself what she dubs “appropriate negativity

The first principle of improvisation—hearing offers—hinges on attunement, leaving our own perspective to inhabit the perspective of another.

For many of us, the opposite of talking isn’t listening. It’s waiting.

Truly listening involves relating to another person not through your internal filter but in a quiet, observant, connected way.

Everyone in a conversation is facing an internal conflict between self- expression and self- inhibition. If you listen passively, the other person is likely to become inhibited. Active listening, on the other hand, is an invitation to express. One way to think of it is through the metaphor of hospitality. When you are listening, you are like the host of a dinner party. You have set the scene. You’re exuding warmth toward your guests, showing how happy you are to be with them, drawing them closer to where they want to go.