Then, as you contemplate the day in front of you, try to ask yourself these questions. If you have room on your mirror, copy them over and tape them there, too.

What are the opportunities for learning and growth today? For myself? For the people around me?

As you think of opportunities, form a plan, and ask:

When, where, and how will I embark on my plan?

When, where, and how make the plan concrete. How asks you to think of all the ways to bring your plan to life and make it work.

As you encounter the inevitable obstacles and setbacks, form a new plan and ask yourself the question again:

When, where, and how will I act on my new plan?

Regardless of how bad you may feel, chat with your fixed-mindset persona and then do it! And when you succeed, don’t forget to ask yourself:

What do I have to do to maintain and continue the growth?

Radical self-inquiry is the path to seeing habits and patterns. Questions that drive us toward that insight are endlessly helpful:

• ‘What parts of me are being projected onto the other person?’ 

• ‘How do I reclaim those parts of me?’ 

• ‘What do my reactions say about me?’ 

• ‘Why do I do what I do?’ 

• ‘Why do they do what they do?’ 

• ‘What need for love, safety, or belonging might they be trying to meet with their irrational behavior?

I’ve found that people don’t naturally think in terms of specific behaviors, and this tendency trips up almost everyone.

People use the word “goal” when they are talking about aspirations or outcomes. If someone says “goal, ” you can’t be sure what they are talking about since the word is ambiguous. For that reason, “goal” is not part of the vocabulary in Behavior Design. Use either “aspiration” or “outcome” for precision.

In the previous chapters, you’ve already been working on Behavior Crafting even though I didn’t use that term. You have already learned how to:

• Identify a lot of behavior options (chapter 2) 

• Match yourself with behaviors that will lead to your aspiration (chapter 2) 

• Make the behavior easier to do (chapter 3)

The skill of embracing a new identity. When you can let go of old identities and embrace new ones, you will soar in your ability to go from tiny to transformative.