TRY THIS: Do a brief audit of the people who depend on you. Acknowledge and write about the ways that others depend on you. At the same time, notice and reflect on how you depend on others. Let yourself sink into and fully embrace the mutual support you’ve given and received. Let yourself feel safe and held by other people in your life, and acknowledge the ways you’ve given this to others. In your journal, reflect on the meaning and richness this has provided. No one is perfect; others have sometimes let you down, and at times you’ve done the same. No matter. For now, fully appreciate your most important relationships, whatever role they play in your life.

Once you’ve identified your predominant style, try answering these questions in your journal:

1. What is special and important about your role?

1. What do you want the other roles to know about what you do and achieve?

1. How do you think your role is misunderstood or not fully appreciated by the other roles?

As a principle-centered person, you try to stand apart from the emotion of the situation and from other factors that would act on you, and evaluate the options. Looking at the balanced whole—the work needs, the family needs, other needs that may be involved and the possible implications of the various alternative decisions—you’ll try to come up with the best solution, taking all factors into consideration.

SELECTING GOALS. The next step is to think of one or two important results

you feel you should accomplish in each role during the next seven days. These would be recorded as goals. At least some of these goals should reflect Quadrant II activities. Ideally,

these weekly goals would be tied to the longer-term goals you have identified in conjunction with your personal mission statement. But even if you haven’t written your mission statement, you can get a feeling, a sense, of what is important as you consider each of your roles and one or two goals for each role.

Creating the unity necessary to run an effective business or a family or a marriage requires great personal strength and courage. No amount of technical administrative skill in laboring for the masses can make up for lack of nobility of personal character in developing relationships. It is at a very essential, one-on-one level, that we live the primary laws of love and life.