And watch what happens to you. The more deeply you understand other people, the more you will appreciate them, the more reverent you will feel about them. To touch the soul of another human being is to walk on holy ground.
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TRY THIS: Do a brief audit of the people who depend on you. Acknowledge and write about the ways that others depend on you. At the same time, notice and reflect on how you depend on others. Let yourself sink into and fully embrace the mutual support you’ve given and received. Let yourself feel safe and held by other people in your life, and acknowledge the ways you’ve given this to others. In your journal, reflect on the meaning and richness this has provided. No one is perfect; others have sometimes let you down, and at times you’ve done the same. No matter. For now, fully appreciate your most important relationships, whatever role they play in your life.
Learn how to give loving attention to your whole experience. Open yourself, even to those aspects you would rather do away with. Cultivate equanimity rather than searching for the next peak experience.
PART TWO: Private Victory
Habit 1: Be Proactive - Principles of Personal Vision
“In fact, until we take how we see ourselves (and how we see others) into account, we will be unable to understand how others see and feel about themselves and their world. Unaware, we will project our intentions on their behavior and call ourselves objective. This significantly limits our personal potential and our ability to relate to others as well. But because of the unique human capacity of self-awareness, we can examine our paradigms to determine whether they are reality- or principle-based or if they are a function of conditioning and conditions.
We discovered that even seemingly trivial things often have roots in deep emotional experiences. To deal only with the superficial trivia without seeing the deeper, more tender issues is to trample on the sacred ground of another’s heart.
This is a crucial step in connecting with others through curiosity: communicating your new understanding back to them. This is where a lot of the magic happens, where the connection between people becomes solid, visible, and meaningful. Hearing an accurate understanding of our own experience coming from another person, articulated in their words, can be thrilling, especially when we’re feeling alienated in a social setting. Suddenly someone is seeing us as we are, and that experience momentarily breaches the barrier that we feel between us and the world. To be seen is an amazing thing.