At any rate, thatâs how I started running. Thirty-threeâthatâs how old I was then. Still young enough, though no longer a young man. The age that Jesus Christ died. The age that Scott Fitzgerald started to go downhill. That age may be a kind of crossroads in life. That was the age when I began my life as a runner, and it was my belated, but real, starting point as a novelist.
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âI knew from what happened to my father and what Iâd seen on television that a career in sports didnât last forever. Athletes have a small window of time to work with their body. And injuries donât care whether you are young or old. The important thing was that if running didnât work out for me, I would at least have a diploma from a respected university that would help me get a job. That would be my future, I decided, but for now, I had to get faster.
Right now Iâm aiming at increasing the distance I run, so speed is less of an issue. As long as I can run a certain distance, thatâs all I care about. Sometimes I run fast when I feel like it, but if I increase the pace I shorten the amount of time I run, the point being to let the exhilaration I feel at the end of each run carry over to the next day. This is the same sort of tack I find necessary when writing a novel. I stop every day right at the point where I feel I can write more. Do that, and the next dayâs work goes surprisingly smoothly. I think Ernest Hemingway did something like that. To keep on going, you have to keep up the rhythm. This is the important thing for long-term projects. Once you set the pace, the rest will follow. The problem is getting the flywheel to spin at a set speedâand to get to that point takes as much concentration and effort as you can manage.
When I finished the novel I had a good feeling that Iâd created my own writing style. My whole body thrilled at the thought of how wonderfulâand how difficultâit is to be able to sit at my desk, not worrying about time, and concentrate on writing. There were untouched veins still dormant within me, I felt, and now I could actually picture myself making a living as a novelist. So in the end the fallback idea of opening a small bar again never materialized. Sometimes, though, even now, I think how nice it would be to run a little bar somewhere.
Iâm struck by how, except when youâre young, you really need to prioritize in life, figuring out in what order you should divide up your time and energy. If you donât get that sort of system set by a certain age, youâll lack focus and your life will be out of balance. I placed the highest priority on the sort of life that lets me focus on writing, not associating with all the people around me. I felt that the indispensable relationship I should build in my life was not with a specific person, but with an unspecified number of readers. As long as I got my day-to-day life set so that each work was an improvement over the last, then many of my readers would welcome whatever life I chose for myself. Shouldnât this be my duty as a novelist, and my top priority? My opinion hasnât changed over the years. I canât see my readersâ faces, so in a sense itâs a conceptual type of human relationship, but Iâve consistently considered this invisible, conceptual relationship to be the most important thing in my life.
But I donât think itâs merely willpower that makes you able to do something. The world isnât that simple. To tell the truth, I donât even think thereâs that much correlation between my running every day and whether or not I have a strong will. I think Iâve been able to run for more than twenty years for a simple reason: It suits me. Or at least because I donât find it all that painful. Human beings naturally continue doing things they like, and they donât continue what they donât like. Admittedly, something close to will does play a small part in that. But no matter how strong a will a person has, no matter how much he may hate to lose, if itâs an activity he doesnât really care for, he wonât keep it up for long. Even if he did, it wouldnât be good for him.