You’re in touch with your triggers and you’re excruciatingly aware of your fixed-mindset persona and what it does to you. It has a name. What happens now? Educate it. Take it on the journey with you.

The more you become aware of your fixed-mindset triggers, the more you can be on the lookout for the arrival of your persona. If you’re on the verge of stepping out of your comfort zone, be ready to greet it when it shows up and warns you to stop. Thank it for its input, but then tell it why you want to take this step and ask it to come along with you: “Look, I know this may not work out, but I’d really like to take a stab at it. Can I count on you to bear with me?”

When you hit a setback, the chances are excellent it’s going to show up again. Don’t suppress it or ban it. Just let it do its thing. Let it do its song and dance, and when it settles down a bit, talk to it about how you plan to learn from the setback and go forward: “Yes, yes, it’s possible that I’m not so good at this (yet), but I think I have an idea of what to do next. Let’s just try it.

... if you want to change yourself, you have to change your structurally determined responses, not alter your environment.

If you ignore your promise and go on knowingly, you’re consciously betraying your word and not taking care of the other party.

Like Lou said, you must go into your automatic emotions rather than flee from them.

And in the very act of attentive witnessing, you can be released from the grip of their automaticity.