But using their first names, or words like “you,” “he,” or “she” encouraged them to think like an outsider and see the situation more positively. Rather than complaining or stressing themselves out even more, it encouraged them to provide support and advice: “Jane, you can do this. You’ve given a ton of speeches before.”

Outsider language helped speakers see things more objectively, making the situation less anxiety-inducing. They felt fewer negative emotions and appraised the situation in more positive terms. More as a challenge that they could cope with, or rise up to meet, rather than a threat that they felt unprepared for or overwhelmed by.

With practice, you’ll become more competent at generating a mind of freshness and presence.

You are in language already all of the time.

Language brings forth the world that you live in. if you want to change, it’s profoundly useful to observe how you language yourself into being and in your relationships.

... the profound relationship between language and the body’s physiology - a placebo changes expectation.