The best way to make your feedback heard is to make the listener feel safe, and to show that youâre saying it because you care about her and want her to succeed. If you come off with even a whiff of an ulterior motiveâyou want to be right, youâre judging her, youâre annoyed or impatientâthe message wonât get through.
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One of the biggest mistakes new bosses make is thinking they need to jump in and exert their opinions right away to show that they are capable.
Actually, that approach tends to backfire. Few things are more annoying than a new person wasting everyone elseâs time because they are trying to prove they know something when their opinion isnât actually informed.
Your job as a manager isnât to dole out advice or âsave the dayââitâs to empower your report to find the answer herself. She has more context than you on the problems sheâs dealing with, so sheâs in the best position to uncover the solution. Let her lead the 1:1 while you listen and probe.
For a leader, giving feedbackâboth when things are going well and when they arenâtâis one of the most fundamental aspects of the job. Mastering this skill means that you can knock down two of the biggest barriers preventing your reports from doing great workâunclear expectations and inadequate skillsâso that they know exactly where to aim and how to hit the target.
Think of the best feedback youâve ever received. Why was it so meaningful to you?
Iâm willing to bet that the reason you remember it is because the feedback inspired you to change your behavior, which resulted in your life getting better.
How do you ensure that your feedback can be acted upon? Remember these three tips.
1. Make your feedback as specific as possible. When I told George, âYour presentation was complicated and people had a hard time understanding it,â I was assuming that his definition of complicated and mine were the same. This is rarely the case, so my feedback ended up sounding vague. Which aspects were complicated? What was said, exactly, that led to people being confused? Use clear examples that get at the why so itâs easier for the recipient to know what you mean.
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- Clarify what success looks and feels like. Even if your feedback is specific, heard, and understood, it can still be hard for the other person to have a clear picture of what they should aspire to.
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- Suggest next steps. Often the easiest way to help your report translate your feedback into action is to share what you think the next steps should be. Be clear about whether youâre setting an expectation or merely offering a suggestion. Also, beware of overdoing thisâif youâre always dictating what should happen next, youâre not empowering your team to learn to solve problems on their own. A softer approach is to ask your report, âSo what do you think the next steps should be?â and let them guide the discussion.